They Said My Writing Was Garbage
Turning Online Haters into Fans
Settle down, everyone! Put your pitchforks and metaphorical rotten tomatoes away. I know, I know, you came here expecting a literary genius, but…and instead, you get me.
Buckle up, buttercup, because this ride will get bumpy (but hopefully hilarious)!
Ah, the internet. A place where cats rule, conspiracy theories flourish, and your masterpiece (or grocery list, no judgment) can be critiqued with the ferocity of a wolverine on a sugar crash.
So, you (in this case, me!) poured your/my heart and soul into a piece of writing, only to be met with a comment that reads like a disgruntled sock puppet wrote it.
What do you do? (FYI the comment is in the article linked below)
I Am Blamed For A Public Fart
To Save My Wife’s Dignitymedium.com
The Scorched Earth Approach
This involves unleashing the full fury of your keyboard warrior spirit.
Compose a reply that would make Shakespeare weep (with laughter, hopefully). However, this approach is about as effective as using a fly swatter to fight a dragon. It might feel good, but it ultimately leaves you looking slightly unhinged and everyone else scrambling for popcorn.
The Bury My Head in the Sand Approach
Pretend you never saw the comment. This ostrich-like tactic might bring temporary peace, but the negative feedback will continue to fester in the dark corners of your mind, morphing into a self-doubt monster.
It's not recommended for anyone who values their sanity (or hates monsters under the bed).
The Hilarious Retort Approach
This, my friends, is where the magic happens! Here’s how to turn those frown-inducing comments upside down.
Why Begging is Worse Than My Grammar
The Desperate Plea of a Writermedium.com
Embrace the Self-Deprecation.
Did someone say your plot was full of holes? Respond with, “You are right; this plot is cheesier than a supermarket deli aisle. But hey, at least the cheese puns are gouda!”
Channel Your Inner-Pop Culture Reference
Was your dialogue called “stilted”? Hit them with a “Guess I need to up my Joss Whedon game!”
Confuse Them with Kindness
A negative comment laced with insults? Respond with a genuine, “Thanks for taking the time to read my work! I appreciate all feedback, even the spicy kind.” This throws them off balance and makes them look like the jerk, not you.
Remember, responding with humour shows you have a thick skin (or at least a good sense of humour about your slightly less-than-perfect writing). It also disarms the negativity and opens the door for a more constructive conversation.
A Saucey Secret Weapon at the Cocktail Party
I’m In Controlmedium.com
Bonus tip, if the comment is truly awful, there’s no shame in ignoring it. Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. Just picture the commenter as a grumpy troll living under a bridge. Their negativity says more about them than it does about your writing.
My Conclusion
So, the next time you get a negative comment, take a deep breath, channel your inner comedian, and remember, even the most brilliant works of art have their critics. Now go forth and write (and respond) with humour!